Sometimes a song is just a song, like something that’s on in the background or something you sing in the shower. But other times, music can be so much more. For me, it’s been one of the biggest things that’s helped me cope, especially with the stuff I’ve been through growing up in foster are.
I’ve gone through a lot of things that made it hard to talk about how I felt. There were times I didn’t even know what I was feeling, and even if I did, I didn’t know how to say it. It was like everything I wanted to say was stuck in my head, and the words just wouldn’t come out.
That’s where music came in. It helped me express stuff without needing to actually say it out loud. The lyrics would say exactly what I was thinking or feeling. It felt like someone had written a song just for me.
When life was tough, I would put my headphones in and just zone out. Music was like my escape. It gave me space to feel things without being judged. And sometimes, when I heard a song that really hit me, it reminded me I wasn’t the only one feeling this way. There were other people out there who got it. That made me feel a bit less alone.
One of the best things about music is that it helped me connect with other people. When you grow up in care, you meet a lot of new people. New carers, new workers, new schools, new everything. It can be really hard to open up, especially when you’re not sure if you can trust them. But music gave me something to talk about. I could ask someone what music they liked or tell them about a song I was into. It helped me feel less awkward and more comfortable starting a convo.
I remember when I was in a new placement, I didn’t really talk for a while. I just didn’t know what to say or how to feel safe. One day, I was listening to Because of You by Kelly Clarkson, and my carer heard it and said she liked that song too. That was the first proper chat we had. It was only about music, but it felt like a start. And from there, things got easier.
Songs like Headlights by Eminem also bring up a lot for me. That one always makes me think about my biological mum. Sometimes it makes me cry, sometimes it makes me smile, but it always makes me feel. It helps me remember stuff and figure things out in my own way. I love how some songs stick with you and bring back memories, no matter how many times you listen.
Now that I’m a kinship carer for my little sister, I try to share the stuff that helped me with her too. Music is one of those things. We’ve got this thing we do called “Dance it Out.” If we’re feeling upset or cranky, we play Dog Days Are Over by Florence and the Machine and have a dance party in the lounge room. We jump around, laugh, and by the end, we usually feel way better. It’s our thing now, and it really helps both of us.
Music has always been there for me. When I couldn’t talk, when I felt alone, when I needed to get stuff out but didn’t know how, music was the one thing that helped me feel understood. Even now, it’s still my go-to. When everything feels too much, I just chuck on my favourite songs, and it’s like someone gets me without me having to explain anything.
So if you ever feel like you’re carrying too much or like you can’t say what you’re feeling, try music. Let the songs speak for you. Trust me, it helps.
“One good thing about music – when it hits you, you feel no pain.” – Bob Marley
I didn’t get what that meant when I first heard it, but now I do. Music doesn’t make everything better, but it makes it feel a bit lighter. And sometimes, that’s exactly what you need.
